This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

all 23 comments

[–]pnkpanthr25 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It happened to me when I left. I was an outcast for taking college classes in a town 30 min away. An elders son who'd had a crush on me would park next to me. Be sitting on a bench outside my classes. Would sit at a table in the school cafeteria and stare at me. He didn't attend classes. He also got a job at the same grocery store I worked at but I got him fired for stalking me. I ended up moving 4 states away and I didn't go to my hometown for ten years.

[–]RudeAwakening0o0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucking Creepy!! RUN!!!!

[–]bumwine 4 points5 points  (2 children)

YES. This is totally a thing, in fact it is nearly official and outlined in the elder's book. Basically wink wink nudge nudge kind of thing. Check it out:

12. In some cases adultery is not proved, but it is established by confession or by two or more witnesses that the mate stayed all night in the same house with a person of the opposite sex (or a known homosexual) under improper circumstances.

[–]inkyminy 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'm not exactly sure why, but I laughed out loud at the phrase "known homosexual".

[–]BackseatDevil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I laughed to.

I guess some things have to be explained. AND they have to watch out for those unknown homosexuals. Staying one night with someone of the opposite sex mean they were fucking (of course). But two same-sex people can fuck for years just by being "roommates" or "best friends."

Another unfairness about the JWs - gays can get away with more sex, but get penalized harsher in a judicial committees. LOL.

[–]soicanbemeAllergic to BS 3 points4 points  (3 children)

It sounds like her husband wanted to remarry, but the elders wont let him unless he can prove she had sex with someone else, thus committing adultery. So, unless she remarries, or admits to it, two people can spy on her and if she and another man are alone in a house or apartment ALL NIGHT, then by JW law they had sex and he can remarry.

Because we all know when you have sex, you always stay all night.

[–]pnkpanthr25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That sounds about right. My mom divorced my dad when I was 15 afters years of abuse. They told her they would disphellowship her if she divorced him, she could separate and live separate but not divorce. CPS took me away again and said they would put me in permanent foster care if she didn't leave him for good. It was the wake up call she needed and she divorced him. 3 years later she married my step-dad and he had been spying on her (she is still a JW u fortunately) and she was disphellowship. He is an elder again. Makes me sick. I've actually been avoiding this sub because it is hard to think about all of the things I went through, my husband reads it though and I think it's helped him understand.

[–]ryac0150 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was always so ridiculous to me. Like people don't fuck during the day.

[–]pmfreethinker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is really sad is that this happened to a girl I knew. She was married, but separated and we thought it was great that someone actually spied on him to insure that he was sleeping with someone, so she could remarry. I can't believe I was in agreement with that shit. Fuck-Bang my head on the wall.

[–]bearsdiscoverfire 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Happened to me too. I moved about 125 miles from my home congregation to fade and attend college. Unfortunately, my parents knew someone up in the local congregation, I made the mistake of attending a few meetings while I was fading and...

Well my fade was much more difficult as a result. Elders I had never met 'dropping by' for shepherding calls, congregation members just happening to 'run into me' over and over and over, my parents confronting me about activities that I had told no one about but was obviously witnessed by someone, phone calls grilling me as to my whereabouts if I happened to deviate at all from my routine - a routine which no one should have been privy to anyway. Cong members even called my parents out of 'concern' when they apparently drove by my apartment at midnight and didn't see my car parked outside.

Very, very unsettling and not at all conducive to healthy independent development in young adulthood.

[–]GodsplaythingPleasing God Since 97 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Dude. How long ago was this? Call the po-po on stalking charges.

[–]bearsdiscoverfire 0 points1 point  (1 child)

A decade + ago. There's a lot space and time between my fade and now; there's no point in my revisiting that era even if statutes hadn't long expired.

[–]GodsplaythingPleasing God Since 97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. No point now. If it was continuing on, then I definitely would.

[–]AgroSaxonVice President of Df'd Club 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, this is indeed a thing. I don't know about "network" but I know for certain Elders will stalk your ass, waiting for you to do something wrong. The JWs are narcs by nature, I just don't see them being that organized......other than Elders calling other Elders in congregations who's territory you might move in to.

[–]BackseatDevil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They have been known to do this as well since at least the early 90s:

[–]autowikibot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love bombing:

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it themselves to mean a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the "love" is feigned and the practice is manipulative. It has also been used to refer to abusers in romantic relationships showering their victims with praise, gifts, and affection in the early stages of a relationship.

Interesting: Love Bomb | Love Jihad | Missionary dating | Propaganda

/u/BackseatDevil can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words | flag a glitch

[–]JaliyahCoats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was around 15 16 I had a friend who told me her gpa (an elder in her congregation) used her Facebook to spy on people our age. She never used it. It's sole purpose was to spy on people and punish them later.

[–]Aurora13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Elders have been known to perform stakeouts on a Witness if they believe he or she is committing sin. These days this extends onto the internet, where Elders will sometimes also look out for Social Networking accounts and blogs belonging to an individual.

[–]JDub_ScrubSmurfington Hills Congregation COBE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I've sadly encouraged this, too. Well, in this case, it was warranted because my friend's wife was horrifically cheating, but that's beside the point. He asked the elders whether or not it would be okay to have some of us sit outside the house she was staying at and get the two witnesses he needed for a scriptural divorce and they said they couldn't recommend it, but there's nothing wrong with it if they want to do it.

We did. well, I personally didn't but my other friend's wife and her friend were all too eager to get a good gossip topic. Actually, we were just helping out our friend, but the idea that someone would do that to a person just to trap them is pretty fucked up.

[–]000000robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no Jehovah's Witness Spy Network, but there are perverted elders and m servants who have sad lives that are lonely, bored, perverted and/or sad that they need to focus on others.

[–]totes_meta_bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

I am a bot. Comments? Complaints? Send them to my inbox!

[–]mindfed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lady says she was being spied on when she moved to another city?!

Well, if what you call, "Elders" are phoning other "Elders" or church leaders in other congregations or cities to tell them to 'keep an eye on' a member or former member, that kinda sounds like a network to me.

This is scary stuff. Sounds like Scientology cult.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They get their fancy preaching gadgets from Q and their territory for preaching from M.